randnix.com

As anyone who saw it will tell you, the focus on this year’s pageant was to make a CHANGE.   It’s like our Presidential Election — everyone wants CHANGE.  The Miss America pageant isn’t about finding the next Miss America — but about finding the next “IT girl” — whatever the hell that means.

Everyone also wants ratings — which I suspect is the real story behind the hunt for an…. “IT girl”   –   Whatever that is.

To that end, The Learning Channel, ran some sort of 12 week reality TV series having somewhat very little to do with the actual pageant itself, but which seemed, at first glance, to be sort of reality-TV - ish.

Evidently, people even phoned in to make their votes.   Miss. Utah, I believe, won the popular vote.   She served in Afghanistan or some place and she’s hot, I presume, and maybe she has some skills.   I hear when they told her she was a “loser” (their word, not mine) that she hit the floor and did 10 push ups.

I have to go by what I read on this subject because, having tried watching it TWICE now, both times, the 52 women have been reduced to the 15 by the time I realize what’s going on.  The second time I half-watched it, I already knew Miss Michigan would win.

The fact that I did not puke watching the show knowing this is a testament to my strong stomach and intense ability and willingness to disbelieve and think maybe it’ll be different this time.

Miss Michigan introduced herself as the one candidate who can’t ride a bike — even as an adult (if 19 is considered an adult).  Her singing was pretty much awful — her hair reminded me of the Blue Lagoon — her body was no better than any of the others.   The only thing I saw that set her apart from anyone was the fact that she was first in virtually every competition they announced.

BUT, as much as they SAY, they want to bring the Miss America Pageant into the 21st Century, the fact of the matter is, they picked the MOST stereotypical pageant girl in the whole pageant.   The fresh faces — the fresh talent.   The fresh looks:   juggle California, Washington, Wisconsin, or Indiana.   As for All American, aside from playing the violin, I’ve got to go with Wisconsin. 

In any case, it was a complete disappointment from the whole attempt to reality-TV-ize it, to the complete reversal on what type of person they were looking for as a winner.   Not to mention the so called “DJ” who was there to give it this “fresh” feel that they wanted (I was a DJ — this guy was a corpse in a suit wired into some sort of standard music generation program.)

Bottom line — NOBODY CARES, AND THIS MODERNIZATION HAS JUST FED INTO THE ENTIRE REASONING WHY.

Sorry.